I am a dreamer a fighter! Had a friend call Polarbear (Bipolar) since 18. Just past my 56th birthday not long ago.
Life is a rainbow each one has its colourful story. Sad and happy we all had a bit to taste! Forget is never easy and learning to forgive does take time, some take years, some never will! Dreamer still learning!
I love beauty, our father the GOD created many pretty things for us to see to learn and to try. I’m lucky to pick up a little bit of stuff I like and enjoy. Doing a little bit of this and that. Maybe that’s my weak point in life, too many flower petals in my heart!
We should never give up hope, dreams keep us going look forward in life! Some take years to come true! I never give up my dreams, some did come true after many years... a piano, my own place, a loving hubby a beautiful daughter and many more. Yes, not all dreams come true... Mei's steamy kitchen is a dream I like see it come true but Polarbear stop me in time. He don't want to see me go back the old road, end up in his home(hospital) again. Dreams make you work hard, without dream I don't know where to find home for my bleeding heart.
8 years writing on blogs, facebook with my crap English, I can see a little improved, should work harder to get better. English isn't a subject I see I will get much better. I am too lazy with words. 42 years in England, my English should do better than where I am now! Blame my shyness and laziness! Took me sometimes to find out why people laugh in the classroom when a classmate asks me to say SOMETHING! I do what she tells me "Something!" I replied. How thick I am? I was nearly 14 when I moved to England with my family. Too shy to speak English, I hardly learn anything in my lessons. I left school at 16, did a year washing up in restaurant. Then working for dad in his oven hot kitchen for 15 years with my two sisters. Don't want to cook all my life in dad's takeaway. I left home for good to start a new me... studying hairdressing for a year and found my man, we have a daughter, lived happily together with father in-law for 17 years. On boxing day 2007, I had issue with father in-law, I moved out from family, support myself cleaning homes, offices and schools. Life is hard but I cope. Fighting Polarbear isn't easy, I still had my up and down, but I am copying. 14 years no need Dr. and my 5* h.otel (hospital). Doing very well, everybody told me. I don't know good or bad writing out my story again in here, I hope my story can give some people a bit more understand about my friend Polarbear. We aren't all that scary!
I want to share my story about Polarbear for years and dream to write a book about the fun and pain I had with blogging! But with my English I know this dream book is hard to be true. Also sharing Polarbear here... will it give me more pain in life? Well, should I care? How many tomorrow or friends GOD want to shower on me? I call all the new comer FRIEND now, and they’re queuing to get in! A size like a tennis balls growing at my back shoulder is my latest friend, another new friend from GOD? In the beginning I told Dr. and friends... I wish the lump is cancer, so I can go with pride, no need DIY, I am no good with DIY, 5 times I failed. Started a blog with WLS 8 years ago gives me the feeling I am writing a book about Polarbear. Writing my up and down do a good job to keep Polarbear under control. I lost count on my times with Dr. and hospital. I am clean for over 12 years now. Thanks for the MHT's Family Work they do a good job to educated me about the illness. And "My blog do better job then him!" My social worker once said. Writing my story on blog makes me feel like I am writing my dream book. I feel useful and proud. Not really a book. But sharing my story, photos in here with this www. I feel useful. I hope one day I will get my other blog finish - Katy-Mei's photo, just beautiful photos no moaning. Thank you for reading!
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